eugh this is sick!

some '70's paedo-lesbian action here:


http://www.ebaumsworld.com/periods101.html

Being polite is tough when faced with the idiots you happen to know

So, a few days ago, as i finished my shift, i met a friend of mine who recently broke her arm as she was coming out of hospital. the following discussion ensued:

Idiotic occurence No.1
Me: Hi Jane!
Jane: Oh, hello. I broke my arm

Yes, i suppose the huge cast was not an obvious enough sign...

Idiotic occurence No.2

Jane was carrying an excessively heavy bag with the broken arm. I needed to instruct her to place her bag in her other non-broken arm.

Jane: OH! so THAT'S why my hand has been getting so swollen!

Idiotic occurence No.3
Jane: So do you have any advice for me?

Yeah, dont fucking strain it with heavy bags!!

What i really said:

Me: try to rest it, when sitting place it on a pillow.
Jane: so i guess i should use the sling i was given, right?

Oh Lord.

Idiotic occurence no.4 (and by far the worst of the lot)

Me: Good-bye Jane and take care of yourself.
Jane: I sure will.

then i got an inkling...it was a piece of very obvious advice...but one thing you learn in nursing is TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED.

Me: Make sure you dont stick anything in the cast to scratch yourself with because you could do irrepairable damage! WARNING: THIS LINK IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART AS IT SHOWS ULCERATION OF THE WORST KIND, WITH GANGRENE AND EXPOSED BONE, WHICH IS WHAT CAN HAPPEN TO SELF-INFLICTED WOUNDS WHICH FESTER BENEATH PLASTER CASTS DUE TO SCRATCHING WITH KNITTING NEEDLES, PENCILS, RULERS ECT.

Jane turned red. "well, i only did it once! bye bye!"

holy shit. i think i could have banged my head against a wall! the thing is, she should have been instructed about these kinds of things and she most obviously was not...or else she simply ignored what was told to her...actually, that was most probably the case.

sigh.

too funny

this story is hilarious!

yes, i have resorted to reading these stories because i am in bed and bored. i hate being sick...but i do love my lap-top...and i have already written 900 wrds of my assignment! yee ha!

God, I'm a nerd.

the nurse is sick

Lord i hate being sick. but it comes part and parcel with this job. yesterday mary coughed all over me, and josie sneezed in my face, so i guess it was inevitable. not to mention, the other student who is placed with me in my ward is also sick so im quite certain its from a patient. at the moment there is a ton of gastritis and bronchitis going about, so readers, please be careful and keep yourselves healthy. if you have not taken your 'flu shot yet, do so before you get one of those 2 illnesses because you can't take the injection while on antibiotics or while you are sick.

so here i am feeling entirely useless in bed, writing my blog and reading online comics, which rule by the way. im also researching an assignment on teaching and learning, so i guess im being at least a little productive.

my man came home from London and bought me the coolest hat, a beret with butterflies all over the front...its v cute. ofcourse whenever i wear it i get stared at by maltese adolescent girls who have no taste nor originality, but since thats the norm, i tend to stick out like a sore thumb. well, in this case, thats a GOOD thing!

well then, i am off to continue writing my assignment and eat some oranges. ah, the beauty of the lap-top...i work whilst in bed!

Yes, your majesty.

So today the queen came to Malta. I was at work, but when things got a little slow, I sat down with Josephine and watched her walk down the red carpet on a little portable television set on the night-stand.

Josephine: She's an old lady!
Me: Why, yes she is.
Josephine: Just like me!

I took a look at the chipped, sickly colour of the ward's walls, Josephine's snoring roomate, I smelt the ever-present odor of shit and urine. My eyes then settled on her cheap and freshly soiled night-shirt and the green,plastic rosary bead in her hand.

Yes, Josie. Just like you.

small town boy

Bronski Beat-Small Town Boy

You leave in the morning
With everything you own
In a little black case
Alone on a platform
The wind and the rain
On a sad and lonely face

Mother will never understand
Why you had to leave
But the answers you seek
Will never be found at home
The love that you need
Will never be found at home

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.

Pushed around and kicked around
Always a lonely boy
You were the one
That they'd talk about around town
As they put you down

And as hard as they would try
They'd hurt to make you cry
But you never cried to them
Just to your soul
No you never cried to them
Just to your soul

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.

Cry , boy, cry...

You leave in the morning
With everything you own
In a little black case
Alone on a platform
The wind and the rain
On a sad and lonely face

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

There's something about Mary

I have half of my thesis ready, my clinical practice is doing fine and my working out at the gym has paid off because my trousers are getting less snug around the waist-line. Yeah, so far so good.

Even my patients seem to be...well...patient. They have been extraordinarily kind in the past few weeks. Yet the patient who really captures my heart is Mary. She's this little old granny and she is completely demented, but sometimes she says some things that make sense. When things get a little slow, I sit next to her and chat a bit.

Me: Hi Mary...what's up?
Mary: God.
Me: Excuse me?
Mary: God is up in heaven.
Me: Well, I suppose he is.
Mary: Yes. He is.

I must admit, chatting to Mary always takes a bit of a surreal turn. Sometimes she tells me little bits about her life.

Me: Hi Mary.

I do not ask her what's up anymore. Instead I pick up a book from her bedside table.

Me: Are you reading this?
Mary: No, my daughter reads to me. I have forgotten how to read to myself. I can't see properly anyway.
Me: Well, I can read it to you until your daughter comes.
Mary: Yes, you can. Why don't I see properly?
Me: Well, as we get older certain things become a little more difficult...
Mary: No, that's not why. Its because I had typhus during the war and it attacked my eyes.
Me: Oh, my goodness, I had no idea. I'm very sorry.
Mary: Have you ever had typhus?
Me: Can't say I have actually.
Mary: Good, you don't want it.

And of course, Mary's words of wisdom.

Mary: My tummy hurts. I feel hot.
Me: Ok, I will take your temperature.

I put the thermometre under her arm. We wait together in silence. After some minutes, I remove the thermometre..

Me: Well, Mary, you don't seem to have a fever, but I will give you a vomit bag and tell the doctor.
Mary: Yes. No fever means no infection.
Me: That's absolutely right.
Mary: If the thermometre says no fever, then I am not infected because the thermometre does not lie. The thermometre only knows how to tell the truth. When it doesn't, its because its broken, then it must be thrown away.
Me: I can't deny that.
Mary: When people are broken, they lie.

I just nodded. Its amazing, how sometimes these patients suffering from dementia make more sense than the qualified staff.

Sigh. Hail Mary, full of grace.

Monday, monday here again

Well yeah, its sunday really, but my general activity for today has pretty much ended and 2moro im off to the ward again.

the weather has become cold and i can't help thinking about some of my patients. one in particular has no family, nobody visits her to bring her clothes and suchlike so she wears a nappy and a hospital gown, though she is fully independent and continent. its getting cold, too cold to run around in a nappy and a backless gown. i spent my afternoon looking for a cardigan around the house, one that could fit her. I found her an old blue one, i hope it will be fine for her. i wish i could buy all my patients a cardigan.

i spent the morning with my man since 2moro he is off to london with the band he's the manager of. we went for a chinese lunch, just me and him, and it was good fun. sometimes we both get wrapped up with the daily demands of our lives and we forget to have fun. today was great. if i had money i would prob go with him. at the moment nothing is really keeping me in malta...at university i am not doing anything that requires any particular strain and as for work i can easily make up the hours on the weekend. damn it.

Some jokers left some crude yet amusing comments on one of my blogs...will one of you explain to me how to make a cunt salad? or is it that a woman's private areas resemble some kind of vegetable? a pimento, perhaps? An artistic ounce of iceberg lettuce? Will it still be so appetizing after you shit on it? Enlighten me.

well, im off to make a cup of tea and watch Frasier on DVD...Because I don't know what to do about those tossed salads and scrambled eggs!

distant sun

Distant Sun
Distant Sun
Written By N. Finn
Tell me all the things you would change
I don't pretend to know what you want
when you come around and spin my top
time and again, time and again

No fire where I lit my spark
I am not afraid of the dark
Where your words devour my heart
And put me to shame, put me to shame

When your seven worlds collide
Whenever I'm by your side
Dust from a distant sun
will shower over everyone

Still so young to travel so far
Old enough to know who you are
Wise enogh to carry the scars
Without any blame, there's no one to blame

It's easy to forget what you learned
Waiting for the thrill to return
Feeling your desire burn
And drawn to the flame

When your seven worlds collide
Whenever I'm by your side
Dust from a distant sun
will shower over everyone
Dust from a distant sun
will shower over everyone

And I'm lying on the table
Washed out in a flood
Like a Christian feeling vengeance from above
I don't pretend to know what you want
But I offer love

Seven worlds will collide
Whenever I'm by your side
Dust from a distant sun
Will shower over everyone

some facts about moi!

well, since there is more to me than simply being a nurse, i decided to steal one of these fact thingies from my bro's blog. enjoy your new found info about moi! woo hoo!

1. Name:Marie...my mum wanted to call me gloria, my dad colette but then my mum wanted mary and my dad thought that was low-class so they went with Marie.

2. Your Nickname: Pica or Nurse Pica. I gave myself this nick because i was on a forum and i called myself picadillycircus, so pica for short.

3. Middle Name: Yvonne. my sister is named yvonne and my grandma is named yvonne. there's no originality in the world.

4. Place of Birth: Winnipeg, Manitoba. I was such a cute baby that i was used as a model for the new mums on how to bathe a baby! yes, my big bum is famous!

.5. Zodiac Sign: Pisces

6. Male or Female: female.

7. Age:21. if i remained in canada i'd still be having my very first taste of alcohol!

.8. School: Sacred heart. didnt like it.

9. Birthday: March 12th.

10. Residence: Malta. Sometimes its cool, sometimes infuriating.

11. Screen Name: Nurse Pica.

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color: brown, like shit.

13. Hair Long or Short: long-ish, curly/unruly

14. Eye Color: brown, like shit

15. How do ur nails look:long with chipped lilac nail polish.

16. Height: 5'5"

17. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, my man :)

18. Do you like yourself: yes. but sometimes i dont...but those times are rare.

19. Smile: I feel pretty when i do...and thats all the time!

20. Think your skinny: Nope, i have a big butt...but im not fat.

21. Piercings: both ears and an extra one on my right lobe. i'd love to pierce my nose, but i heard it becomes hell when u get a cold.

22. Tattoos:I like them, but they r a bit too permanent. not to mention, im afraid of hepatitis from the needles, not to mention HIV

23. Righty or Lefty: righty.

___Your 'Firsts'___

24. First Kiss: a boy named Tommy outside the window of an accounts class at junior college. i was 16. it felt horrible, like a washing machine. there were his friends looking out the window, shouting things like "Go on! suck her dry!" and "How do her tonsils taste?"
25. First love: it was a boy in 6th form...his name was maurice. now i cant for the life of me think about what i saw in him. he was different back then. i was different back then...
26. First best friend(s): a v nice girl named Jenna bk in canada. i wonder what ever happened to her.
28. First Sport: Gymnastics...and i was pretty darn good too.
29. First pet: A whisky the golden labradour. he was cute, but lord was he stupid!
30. First vacation: Malta. got very burnt at the beach.
31. First Concert: Local band.shostackovich's nightmare at labrynth in may 2000.
.
___ Favorites___

33. Movie: Big fish. or dirty pretty things. i love movies.
34. TV Show: Scrubs. Frasier. Gray's anatomy.
35 Color: Green
36. Band/Singer: Cyndi Lauper, divine comedy, belle and sebastian
37. Song: belle and sebastain's I must be dreaming
38. Food: I love food. chinese, lebanese, indian,italian,vegetables...there is v little i dont like...fish is not a favourite or organ meats bleurghies!
39. Drink: Martini bianco with lemonade
.40. Candy: aero mint. i love mint choc combinations. wispa mint is lovely too.
41. Sport To Play: i like long distance running
.43. Brand Of Clothing: MArks and Spencer, dorothy perkins, zara,bershka, miss selfrige..any shop that caters for big butts!
45. University: institute of health care! final year! woo hoo!
46. Animal:cats. My Elsa in particular.
47. Books: catcher in the rye changed my life. but there are loads of books i like.
48. Magazines: cosmopolitan
___Currently___

49. Eating:nothing.
50. Drinking: water
51. Money in pocket?: none
52. Online?: always
.53. Listening to: Jem-They. my man met her sister.
54. Thinking About:going to the gym
.55. Wanting to: finish my thesis
.56. Watching: my mobile for msges
57. Wearing: green cords and a light green t-shirt

_Your Future_

58. Want Kids?: YES...but sometimes i worry that i wont be able to afford them.
59. Want to Get Married?:eventually
60. Careers in Mind: Feasable career: stoma Nurse with a PhD. Dream:to be an actress

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

61. Light or Dark hair: doesnt make a difference
62. Light or Dark eyes: dont mind
63. Lover or Fighter? both...i need a challenge
.67. Cute or Sexy: if i like the guy, he is automatically both
68. Lips or Eyes: personality.
69. Hugs or Kisses: both
70. Short or Tall: taller than me.
71. Easygoing or serious: both. i like serious.
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: romantic
73. Muscular or Skinny: cuddly like winnie the pooh
74. Sensitive or Loud:sensitive and talkative.
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship. i had a different guy for every month of the year in 2004. even when i went abroad i hooked up with someone. when i came back i decided i had enough and i got with my current bf. so far its been 1yr 3 months.
76. Sweet or Caring: he's both.

___Have You Ever___

78. Kissed a Stranger:more often than not
79. Drank Bubbles: No
80. Lost glasses/contacts: Never.i dont have either
81. Ran Away From Home:Nope...but was often tempted to.
82. Broken a Bone: a small one in my ankle when i was 12.
83. Got an X-ray: yep,that time when i was 12.
84. Broken Someones Heart: Im not sure.
85. Broke Up With Someone: yes
87. Cried When Someone Died: My Uncle in 2003. I saw my mum cry and couldnt take it.

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: definitely.
90. Miracles: yes
91. Love At First Sight: No, absolutely not.
92. Ghosts: No
93. Aliens: no
95. Heaven: yes
96. Hell: Yes
98. Kissing on The First Date: ofcourse
99. Horoscopes: they r fun to read, but i forget them as soon as i turn the page/close the window

___Answer Truthfully___
100. Is There Someone You Want? oh yes...my man.

And the men just get hornier!

Had a morning of work at my ward. it was all good, there's a foreign exchange student with us at the moment from finland and she's very nice, a bit of a kiss-ass, but its ok because she doesn't really know any better, so she's excused.

In the four-bedded room there are four red-blooded males, sky-high levels of testosterone and three young student nurses to care for them. this is potentially a recipe for disaster, however we are trained to cope with disaster and our days are empty without it.

To sum up these patients, one is old and toothless and pervy, the other is old, bed-ridden and swears until kingdom come, one wants to talk all the time inspite of his oxygen mask and recent heart attack and the last guy is huge. and i mean HUGE. HUGE! he is seven feet tall and so fat that his flab hangs over the sides of the bed. it is a frightening site to behold. however, he's a nice dude, passes a few idiotic comments, but oh well, its to be expected.

so as we three students walk in, we are greeted with a chorus of pervy statements, many of them in maltese so the foreign student wont understand.

Fatty: oh look, charlie's angels are here! how would you all like to be MY angels!?
(Over my dead body.)

Pervy whispers loudly to Chatty: Wow, i like the one with the big bum! I'd love to get a piece of that!
(Sorry, none of it is detachable.)

Sweary: Fuck you! Fuck all of you! I'll beat you up! I'll pull all your hair out! Fuck your mamas! Fuck your dadas! Fuck your families!
(No comment.)

Apart from my patients, I also have my thesis to think about. everytime i look at it, i find stuff i can improve upon and it seems to never end. I'm already a thousand words over and by tomorrow its going to be even more. i need to conclude and begin my methodology. and i have to do it quickly! Not to mention my IV course which i have to study for and practice for aswell.

This is what final year is all about really...thesis, exams, finals...all so we could be call-girls for horny patients trying to score themselves a sponge-bath.

The world, ofcourse, is but a just place.

some christian humor

WARNING: THIS IS A VERY, VERY STUPID JOKE!

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument aboutwho was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering Finally fed up, God said, THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours,and from those results, I will judge who does the better job. So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused, They . They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments. They downloaded. They didspreadsheets. They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy reports. They did every job known to man. Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed cross the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word knownin the underworld. Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: It's gone! It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out. Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. Wait he screamed. That's not fair!He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any? God just shrugged and said, JESUS SAVES

i am falling apart

i really can't take my mum calling me fat anymore. i cant take it. it drives me nuts and makes me feel sick and ugly.

the thing is, im not fat. im a size 12-14 (uk sizes). ok, im not miss skinny but im not the obese monster my mum makes me out to be. it makes me so depressed. she makes me hate myself and want to kill myself.

i dont deserve to feel this way. its like she is always trying to compete with me. she is so sick in the head...she competes with me for grades cuz she's doing a university course, she competes with my looks, she is loads fatter than me and tries to wear my clothes and stretches them.

when i look in the mirror i see this big, fat pig. i cant take it anymore. i feel like i could do myself in.

i dont know what to say anymore. but this has to stop.

The nurse is reunited

When I am not nursing, i try to amuse myself in other ways, whether consisting of meeting up with my good friends or with my man its all entertaining, its all good. however, lately i had a class reunion and at first i didn't want to go, but then thought what the heck and i decided to show my face.

In all honesty, it was so weird. as i walked into the presence of all those girls, the ones i spent my adolescence with i felt all my old insecurities bombard me and gang up on me, all screaming at me "YOU DONT BELONG HERE!" "NERD!" "DORK!" "SHE'S DIFFERENT!" "ALIEN!" I had to take a deep breath, saying to myself "you are not that person anymore, so buck up, put your shoulders back and walk in with confidence."

As I stepped into the restauraunt, i couldnt believe my eyes. everybody sat in the exact same cliques they had 6yrs ago, even though alot of them hadnt even kept in touch. then i felt really weird and out of place. i never really and truly had a clique...just some decent friends who were all a little psychologically imbalanced or just plain weird or above it all, like me. misfits really, but nice, caring and intelligent people who didnt really fit in, people who nobody really wanted to get to know. and i can understand why.

they were all afraid that by acknowledging our presence they would realise that underneath all the bravado, all the effort to fit in and all the effort to maintain a certain amount of coolness and nonchalance, they were JUST LIKE US. and that frightened everybody. we were the skinny ones, the underdeveloped ones, the ones with acne, bushy hair, we were quiet, unnoticed, the world would be the same whether we were dead or alive. but that was when the world simply consisted of school and its four walls. however, we are now all making our mark in society, as educators, defenders and healers.

i eventually sat down, had a decent meal and discussed events which happened in the past, when we still wore the yellow and white striped uniform and lived for the week-end, only to discuss it in detail on monday morning. i laughed and even felt a little nostalgic. they got drunk and sang the school song at the top of their lungs and took photos.

as i said my good-byes and walked away, i said to myself "this simply isnt my scene anymore. what went on in those four walls should remain locked up forever.

and this title that i cherish,
i shall keep from stain and blemish.
malta's children shall endure.

i have endured.

I am so,so tired

I am so very tired. all the time. my muscles ache and the tension is building in my body and giving me nausea.

i'm so tired of stupid people, of ignorant asses who think they know everything and refuse to learn. because they know it all already.

they make me so angry!