There's something about Mary

I have half of my thesis ready, my clinical practice is doing fine and my working out at the gym has paid off because my trousers are getting less snug around the waist-line. Yeah, so far so good.

Even my patients seem to be...well...patient. They have been extraordinarily kind in the past few weeks. Yet the patient who really captures my heart is Mary. She's this little old granny and she is completely demented, but sometimes she says some things that make sense. When things get a little slow, I sit next to her and chat a bit.

Me: Hi Mary...what's up?
Mary: God.
Me: Excuse me?
Mary: God is up in heaven.
Me: Well, I suppose he is.
Mary: Yes. He is.

I must admit, chatting to Mary always takes a bit of a surreal turn. Sometimes she tells me little bits about her life.

Me: Hi Mary.

I do not ask her what's up anymore. Instead I pick up a book from her bedside table.

Me: Are you reading this?
Mary: No, my daughter reads to me. I have forgotten how to read to myself. I can't see properly anyway.
Me: Well, I can read it to you until your daughter comes.
Mary: Yes, you can. Why don't I see properly?
Me: Well, as we get older certain things become a little more difficult...
Mary: No, that's not why. Its because I had typhus during the war and it attacked my eyes.
Me: Oh, my goodness, I had no idea. I'm very sorry.
Mary: Have you ever had typhus?
Me: Can't say I have actually.
Mary: Good, you don't want it.

And of course, Mary's words of wisdom.

Mary: My tummy hurts. I feel hot.
Me: Ok, I will take your temperature.

I put the thermometre under her arm. We wait together in silence. After some minutes, I remove the thermometre..

Me: Well, Mary, you don't seem to have a fever, but I will give you a vomit bag and tell the doctor.
Mary: Yes. No fever means no infection.
Me: That's absolutely right.
Mary: If the thermometre says no fever, then I am not infected because the thermometre does not lie. The thermometre only knows how to tell the truth. When it doesn't, its because its broken, then it must be thrown away.
Me: I can't deny that.
Mary: When people are broken, they lie.

I just nodded. Its amazing, how sometimes these patients suffering from dementia make more sense than the qualified staff.

Sigh. Hail Mary, full of grace.