Under pressure

At the moment I am listening to the song under pressure. Now, I sincerely dislike Queen, but I love David Bowie so I guess I am excused by all indie tits out there.

Well, my exam is on the 13th, 2 days away and I really do feel under pressure. But its a good pressure...time to prove myself. And I'm sure a lot of you out there are saying "How can there be a good type of pressure?" Trust me, there is. This is the "I will kick some nursing ass" kind of pressure. This is the "I can do this and I have worked hard for this and its my time" kind of pressure.

Its my turn to shine like the star that I am. There are so many kinds of stars. There are the bright stars like Movie stars, rock stars, pop stars...all equally impressive. Yet then there are those stars which are really small, that you can't even see with a telescope, however they still shine brightly and are still an integral part of the milky way.

This is our last dance.
This is ourselves.
Under pressure.

Time after Time

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,

And I think of you

Caught up in circles confusion

Is nothing new

Flashback warm nights

Almost left behind

Suitcases of memories,

Time after

Sometimes you picture me

And I'm walking too far ahead

You're calling to me, and I can't hear

What you've said

Then you say go slow

I fall behind

The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting

Time after time

If you're lost you can look and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting

Time after time

After my picture fades and darkness has

Turned to gray

Watching through windows you're wondering

If I'm OK

Secrets stolen from deep inside

The drum beats out of time

If you're lost you can look and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting

Time after time

You said go slow I fall behind

The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting

Time after time

If you're lost you can look and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting

Time after time

Time after time

Time after time

Time after time

Just forget the world

Sometimes its good to not worry, just be happy. At the moment I am feeling this way. Today I conquered a fear, and it really felt good. i feel like i can do anything now. And its a feeling I need to pass my resit.

I can finally say I have things in perspective. Its all a question of being able to go with the flow now, yet to be assertive throughout. I think I will be alright. The first time I didn't think I would be alright...I went into that exam thinking failure was an option. It should not have been, which is exactly what makes all the difference this time.

1 more week. Just 1 more.

Just give me something to hold on to...

Well, the resit is soon here, on the 13th of september. I know its silly, but I checked what my horoscope is going to be for that day. It said "Today is the day some action that you will do will make a difference to your community."

I am not a superstitious person. But to make a difference is really why I went into nursing in the first place. A lot of shit has happened in my life...most of the time it has been other people, even my own family, who have caused life to give me a bad turn. And yet I still love people and I still have this naive belief that all people are good. And I also believe that everyone deserves a second chance.

Sometimes I think I lost sight of what I went into nursing for. For some reason I got clouded. I never did it for personal gain, for personal success or to make money. I did it to help those less fortunate.

However I know I'm no saint. I also did it to escape from my own problems, through emersing myself in other people's. That way I never had to confront my difficulties.

I honestly do not know if that is really such a bad thing. Its true that perhaps I am a bit of a Houdini when it comes to real life. Yet nobody can accuse me of being self-indulgent.

Give me a chance to hold on.
Give me a chance to hold on.