A whole lot of anger going on

Lately I have been feeling this intense anger. I don't really know where its stemming from. I simply want to scream and punch something. Or someone. Preferably in the face or gut.

However that would be horribly unproductive. Yet I want to say this...if I actually did punch somebody it would look insane and people would probably say things like "What the hell do you think you're doing?" or "Are you crazy?" And I probably would be committed.

Yet answer me this: Is being angry really so crazy? An emotion which is really natural and has to be suppressed and managed constantly? Under the circumstances we live in today, would it really be so crazy to let go?

In my opinion, we have so much to be angry about, I actually think its kind of crazy that we suppress it, act ashamed of it and try to pretend it isn't there simply to be considered socially acceptable. Its insane.

This has nothing to do with nursing.

And I repeat, this has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with nursing.

Breathe

Just as I thought I can finally catch my breath, I found out I still have a million and one things to do before I am officially a nurse. I need to register with the state, which is a hassle in its own rite. You have to attach your official transcript with clinical hours and degree classification. You also have to accquire your mode of conduct form and attach it aswell as birth certificate and photocopy of Id card and a CV. Its such a lengthy procedure that the secratary at the nursing school actually had to email me an instruction guide! At least I was given that.


I met 2 diploma students who didnt manage to pass. I felt so sad. I looked at them and a voice inside of me said "It could have easily been me." But then another voice said "No, it couldn't. You worked so hard on all factors. You didn't just improve physical nursing skills. You fought the most challenging mental battle in your short life. Everything about you changed. Your soul got scarred, which happens to anyone who chases and gets what he or she wants."

So I took a breath. Then I walked away.

The end of an era

I got my official resit result today and I passed. And I am ecstatic. I totally deserve it. And now my career starts.

I can't believe I am not going to be in a classroom anymore, writing assignments anymore. Its time to throw the student part of me away. And thats a big part and always has been. And now its over. It really and truly is the end of an era.

But saying that, its also the beginning of a new one. Now its time for my real life to begin. My social life, my lovelife, my family life can now get my full attention. I know there is going to be more and more turbulence in the future...however the experiences of this summer have taught me how to deal with them in a better way. I am not the underdog anymore.

I am part of one of the most respected professions in the world. And I am very, very proud.