Excuses, excuses

i found these 20 excuses not to go to work...they r the most common excuses used in america, apparentally:

I was sprayed by a skunk.


I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.


My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.


I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.


I forgot to come back to work after lunch.


I couldn't find my shoes.


I hurt myself bowling.


I was spit on by a venomous snake.


I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.


A hitman was looking for me.


My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.


I eloped.


My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.


My cat unplugged my alarm clock.


I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.


I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.


I forgot what day of the week it was.


Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.


A tree fell on my car.


My monkey died.