my many admirers

Today I had to go to work as I do every monday morning and it didn't feel like the grizzly January day that it was, but more like Valentine's! There seemed to be admirers everywhere, desireable or not!

First of all, there was this one guy who I usually take care of and he got used to me and expected me to take care of him today too. Well, today I was allocated different patients and when I didn't attend to him (because I couldn't) he started snapping his fingers at me and shouting "Hey! Hey nurse Pica! Are you going to empty out this dirty water from my wash basin?"

I HATE it when people snap their fingers at me. "I'm coming, give me a second!" and when I had a minute, I took away his basin and tidied his area. "Ok, everything alright now?"

"Yes, thank-you," he said, "please, don't think I am trying to command you, I ask you because I like you, I think you're smart and sweet." I smiled, told him not to worry about it, rolled my eyes when I was out of his sight and kept on working at my usual nursing tasks.

Later on, I was at the treatment room door helping my friends put together a sterile trolley for a bone-marrow biopsy when I feel this tapping on my shoulder. I turn and find the little old man from bed 4.
"I have been discharged and I have come to say goodbye before I go."
"Oh, that's very sweet! Goodbye Alfie, you were a great patient."
"Nurse Pica you made my stay very pleasant..."
"Well that's a lovely thing to say to me..."
"...before I would fall asleep I would picture your kind, smiling face and the gentle touch of your hands..."

WHOA NELLY! I NEVER TOUCHED ANYONE!
"...erm...um...Alfie, why don't you go pack your things, your daughter is waiting for you."

Oh brother.

If the patients aren't making me the apple of their eye, their relatives look at me and try to match me up with their sons. Sometimes they murmur it under their breath when I come around to check on their loved ones:
"Psst...she would be nice for Charlie!"
or "Make sure to bring Simon around later and introduce him"
or "go introduce yourself, your not getting any younger and I want grand children!"

Do these people honestly believe I can't hear them? Just because I am paying attention to somebody else does not mean I have gone temporarily deaf.

Then there are those who are direct. Today my colleague and I worked a little miracle on a withering old lady...she was dying but over the weeks we nursed her back to health. When I instructed her relatives about a healthy hydration and nutrtition regime, her son piped up "You know, you're cute...I have a son your age, he'd be great for you!"

"Really?" I told him, "I wonder if my boyfriend will like him!"

Hah. It feels great to be adored.

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