Emergency! Emergency!

well monday was most certainly busy. To give you all a clear and concise idea of what went on, I will present my day in point-form, highlighting the most...erm...fascinating parts.

1) We have this crazy patient in our ward. He gets out of bed and tries to eat ALL the medicines in the cabinet and he tried to chew the lock off the dangerous drug cabinet...oh, and the whole time he did it, he was naked. This was an interesting plan, because due to his nudity none of the nurses really wanted to touch him to physically get him out of the treatment room.

2) He stinks of shit. After he was scrubbed by two brave male nurses, he STILL smelt of shit...even after they doused him in baby powder and shampooed his hair (which was stuck to his head with grime.) While this went on, he tried to beat up the nurses and insulted the Virgin Mary and tried to drown himself in his own bath water.

3) Due to his agressive and self mutilatory behaviour, he had to be restrained and tied to a chair. First we just put a sheet round his waist and tied it up at the back of the chair, but he managed to undo it and then proceed to get naked. We caught him and dressed him. This time we brought out the harness which provides full upper and lower body restraint.

4) He managed to get his arms free and started to slither off the chair, but his head couldnt get through the neck-hole of the harness and it started to act like a noose. The man turned purple and blue while the nursing officer and I grabbed his putrid feet and pushed him up to safety while the rest of the staff tied him up again.

5) While in the treatment room washing my hands I hear a familiar sound: *cough* *cough* ELOURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! *pitter* *patter* *splatter*

6)Shit. Someone vomited. His bed was a mess of bright lemon-yellow vomit, it was on his gown, on the floor, in his hair, on his hands...and ofcourse the relative, who must have had a stroke of genius, instead of using the numerous vomit bags on his bedside table, used his bare hands to catch the mess.

7) Needless to say, this man had to be washed and settled all over again.

8) All of a sudden, the emergency buzzer in one of the rooms goes off and we all drop everything and run in that direction...only to find out that one of the less brilliant students tried his hand at inserting a nasogastric tube without supervision. Instead of going through the nostril and down to the stomach, it went through the nostril and OUT OF THE PATIENT'S MOUTH!

9) the problem was quickly remedied and order was restored.

Well, that's basically it. The hospital...its a full life.