slightly unmotivated

Tomorrow i have to go watch patients receive electro-shock-therapy and i was really excited at first but now im totally unmotivated. Well, its late so maybe im just tired, i dont know.

yeah i was excited. how sick, right? well, yeah i am sick because i see this stuff as entertainment. have you ever seen anyone get electro-shock-therapy? aren't you the slightest bit curious? well i am.

i just dont feel like watching it and assisting for 12hrs. I'm sure that by the 4rth hour, the thrill is gone. as usual, i will become immune and start dreaming about the novel in my back-pack. its called "the perks of being a wall-flower". I like it.

i was never a wall-flower. i was bullied at school. i guess i was a pressed flower...an Opressed flower. there are no perks in being an opressed flower...except being stronger afterward perhaps. i wouldnt know.

i have a crush on the boy in the novel...even though hes younger. i usually have an aversion to younger men...they have to be at least 7 yrs older. but anyway, i guess it doesnt matter cuz he's in a book. there is nothing special about this character except that he is so honest and endearing. i wish he could jump out of the book and watch tv with me and share his thoughts on life. we could make coffee. and when he's finished, he could just jump back in.

well, i now need to set my alarm for the inhumane hour of 5.30am so 2moro i can catch the 6.25am bus. i hope my dreams are so bad that waking up will be a relief rather than a struggle. apparentally cheddar cheese gives bad dreams...it also makes ur boobs grow...hmmmm....
oh well. good night.